BING MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Well you knew it had to happen (again) sooner or later. Microsoft has blessed us with a new idea that already sucks.

Introducing... BING.
(No not Chandler Bing from Friends)

Bing is a web browser. Bing has pretty pictures in the background. Bing does the same shit our beloved Google does. MS wants you to use their browser instead of Google. Why in the fuck would anyone bother? I don't think MS thought of that. They aren't big in the "thinking things through" department. Windows M.E. anyone? Windows Vista? Xbox? 360? Hex? Zune? This company hasn't done any serious thinking since they made their first gazillion dollars so it's no wonder everything they touch turns to shit. They are making money off the fact that 90% of humanity are slave drones who will consume and conform to anything but I digress...

BING. Catchy isn't it? That's the idea. They want everyone on the planet walking around saying BING this and BING that. It's marketing bullshit at its best. As long as you have a catchy phrase or word the mindless slave drones will flock to your product and start shelling out money. MS doesn't give a shit if it works or not. Look at the xbox and 360. The Xbox failed because MS couldn't lure any big name developers. The 360 failed because the hardware blows mighty ass. The 360 had potential right up until Sony created the PS3 and everyone saw firsthand what was what.

Epic fail courtesy of MS, but they aren't done yet.

BING

Ever wondered how MS comes up with these catchy awesome phrases and words like Zune, Hex, Bing?
Here's the secret:

1. place both of your hands over your keyboard

2. using a swift, semi-retarded-like motion, bring your hands down

3. look at the results

Here's some catchy bullshit I came up with that MS can use any time for the small price of $78,932,401,834,928,374,134 each.

aloiguse

poadsifa

wepioqyrq

qwenk (haha)

alfkj

xzptvo

atrp

Awesomeness defined. Just start bashing away at your keyboard and you can come up with the latest Microshit marketing hype too!

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Shouts out to spilitz for coming up with this one.